SLINGING BUFFALO POOP IN FANCY DALLAS HOTELS

    I joined Melvin Simon and Associates in ’72 and they put me to work in a little mall in Anderson, Indiana.  I was then transferred to Irving, Texas, Baltimore, Maryland and ultimately Indianapolis.  In time I was responsible for the marketing at all our shopping malls, which included promotional events, grand opening galas, advertising, jingles and so on.

     I served on a committee with the International Council of Shopping Centers that oversaw classes and certification for shopping center marketing directors.  There was an annual award ceremony for the best of the industry’s marketing campaigns and one year I was responsible for the event.  It was to be held at the newly opened Lowe’s Anatole Hotel in Dallas.  The ICSC gave out about a dozen “MAXI” awards, formerly called the “Sammy” award, named after a buffalo we saw in Nogales, Mexico, who could crawl on top of his trailer and tap dance with specially made shoes on his hooves.  We had to change the name after a couple of years because the Tailor’s Union notified us they had a “Sammy” award, we changed ours to denote “Maximum Effort”.  However, a gold buffalo remained at the top of the “MAXI” trophy.

     The ceremony was pretty routine each year,  featuring slides, film footage and music detailing the award winning events at the malls.  I wanted to juice it up a bit and contacted an old compadre, Bunky Boger of Hot Springs, Arkansas.  Bunky has enjoyed a long, illustrious career training animals, include tic-tac-toe playing chickens, he leases to fairs and casinos.  He has raised and trained a buffalo, named Cody, he rides like a saddle horse.  Bunky is attired in Porter Waggoner-like “spangly” western dress and the entire effect is pretty dramatic.  Bunky and Cody lead parades, jump through fiery hoops at rodeos and have since appeared on David Letterman.  If Bunky and Cody could jump through a giant logo sign of the Maxi Award trophy, surrounded by chaser lights, as Kate Smith sang “God Bless America”, it would set the tone for a magical evening of professional recognition.

     Bunky and Cody agreed to the event, everything was ready and I decided to keep it from the hotel management, because I could not see them agreeing to it.  Bunky assured me Cody would not embarrass us and defile the stage.  He walked Cody around for a long time on the back parking lot and announced, “That buffalo is cleaned out!”    

     The big moment came, the award winners were all lined up, the big MAXI logo was lowered with chaser lights and Kate Smith was singing “God Bless America”.  Bunky, all decked out in his finest glittery western attire, astride all 2,000 pounds of Cody, crashed through the giant MAXI sign and skidded to a halt at the front of the stage.     

    The crowd went wild, Cody did two complete turns, lifted his tail up and dropped about 35 pounds of buffalo poop onto the stage.  Everyone was cheering, Bunky waved his giant Stetson and the curtain dropped.  Bunky said, “Sorry, but the crowd made him nervous”.     

     The hotel management raced over to me and shouted, “Man, are you crazy?  Did you tell anyone you were going to do this?  What if that animal rolled off the stage and into the crowd?  Do you even have insurance?”   

     I said, “You know, I thought you might react like this.  If it is any consolation, I promise to never do it again.”