KEEP IRVING & PEKIN MALLS WEIRD

     In the spring of the early 1970’s, I was transferred from Mounds Mall in Indiana to the “Promotions Director” role at Irving Mall…Irving, Texas!   At that time, Irving Mall was well before it’s time.  DFW Airport was under construction, there were no businesses to speak of on Highway 183, and little or no population until you hit Fort Worth.   

     I could have stood out in front of the mall with a cannon, fired off a round and not hit anyone in a  ten-mile radius.  It was QUIET.  I tried everything to get people to shop with us, but it was a battle.  Our tenant mix could be duplicated many times over in sexier, better located malls and my “promotions” did little to sway consumers to come to Irving, Texas.   There were NO SHOPPERS at our mall.  I seemed to be taking ALL my meals at the virtually empty McCrory’s buffet and could have rolled a bowling ball down the lengthy, one level mall and it would not run into anyone.  It was like an episode of the Twilight Zone…all the stores and kiosks were well stocked and manned, there were just no customers!   NONE.

     We came up with a new jingle and attempted to “humanize” the center by making the mall a “HIM” …a male, dancing shopping center named, “Irving Mall”…, set to a catchy musical jingle, “They call him Irv! Irving

Mall!”  That jingle and the concept never caught on and fell to a slow death.  

     Because I was only paid slave wages at the mall, I was disc jockeying at WRR-AM at Fair Park in Dallas on the weekends, to be able to afford food.  I worked Saturday and Sunday from 6PM until midnight and decided to use “Irving Mall” as my name on the air.  That lasted the better part of a weekend until the Program Director called and told me to knock it off.  If I wanted to promote Irving Mall, buy some air time for commercials.

     One of my more awkward moments occurred in October, when we hosted the “Irving Mall,  Halloween Escape from High Prices Sale”.  We had ads in the Dallas papers featuring all our participating stores.  This was another of my ill conceived brain storms and included hiring Biff Painter, (former) escape artist from Six Flags Over Texas, to get free from a water filled, turning, clear, plexi-glass pumpkin, while he was wrapped in chains.   

    When Biff showed up, he had gained weight since his publicity photos were made, but told me he was ready to go!  We set up around 200 chairs in the middle of center court, surrounding the turning, water

filled pumpkin.  At showtime, maybe 20% of the chairs were occupied with shoppers who were in the mall already and were simply resting. We hoisted Biff up with a crane and dropped him into the pumpkin.  Water cascaded over the sides, the pumpkin started turning, the lid was sealed and Biff fell to the bottom from the weight of his chains.   After a bit, his wife screamed, “Biff is drowning!”  I do not know if she was actually alarmed or if this was part of the act.

     We hoisted Biff to the surface.  He assured us he was fine.  I said, “Let him go!” and the crew dropped him again.  He eventually freed himself, swam to the top to spattering applause.  He then announced his escape

was nothing compared to the savings shoppers could enjoy at all participating Irving Mall stores!  The few shoppers watching this drama groaned in disgust, shook their heads and wandered off grumbling, to my everlasting embarrassment.

     About this time, I was invited up to help with the opening of Simon’s new Pekin Mall in Pekin, Illinois.    This was a new, small mall in Everett Dirksen’s hometown, named Pekin many years ago by the city fathers, who claimed it was exactly on the other side of the world from Peking, China (not true).    Amazingly, the Pekin High School mascot name was “The Chinks”…this went on until around the late 1970’s, when they were politically corrected to “The Dragons”.  Pekin Mall was close to Peoria, Illinois and was already in danger of being out-gunned by major competition.

     My job at the opening was to be available to assist with the activities and our VIP’s.  We had a special artistic feature at this event.  Our company President, Herb Simon, had taken some artist under his wing and commissioned him to paint his “signature figures” on the walled off store fronts.    These announced the  “coming-soon” stores, not open in time for the grand opening.  These figures looked like “chubby balloon people”…round bodies, heads, arms and appeared to kind of float.  It reminded me of a James Thurber cartoon in its  design simplicity and these paintings were museum quality.  After the stores were ready to open, the artwork was to be taken down and sold or donated for ongoing viewing.

     We were to have a closed cocktail party the evening before the Grand Opening and all of the Simons and other VIP’s were arriving in the afternoon to tour the mall.  The paintings of the balloon people were on the yet-to-open store fronts, the caterer was setting up and the department stores were open for pre-grand opening sales.  The local media was in the mall, taking photographs and interviewing anyone available for this historic new shopping experience in little Pekin, Illinois.  

     Shortly before the VIP’s were to arrive, someone discovered one of the store front paintings at center court had been defaced.  This one depicted two “balloon people” about to embrace and some criminal had written “LET’S F**K” in a black magic marker over the top.

     Everyone in the mall office went into crazy-panic mode!  The Simons were on the way, and the artist was on Herb’s plane with him and could not be reached.  No one knew what to do because it would decidedly put a big damper on the festivities.  Someone thought to call the artist’s office and his assistant told us of a concoction that could be applied to remove the offending words, without harming the painting.  This had to be applied in gentle, downward strokes from above the painting.   They asked me to get on a ladder in front of the painting and remove the vile message ASAP, before the Simons arrived.    

     A couple of off duty policemen in uniform (our security) set up a ladder and stayed to keep folks from running into me.  I got on the ladder and began applying the solution, as the policemen stood by me and watched.  A tiny, elderly women walked by, saw me attempting to remove the

offending message and said, “You should be ashamed of yourself…a grown man writing such filth, like some kind of juvenile delinquent…thank God they caught you and are forcing you to repair your foul deed!”

     A nearby newspaper photographer heard her admonishing me and took my picture, while mentally preparing the headline, “Mall painting vandalized, suspect apprehended and put to work to remedy his heinous crime!”  The policemen had started laughing at the false accusations cast my way, as the photographer asked them for my name and what they intended to do with me.  I imagined them saying, “We understand his name is Buddy Sackerfield, not from around here and is one of these out of town troublemakers.  We will likely take him into the back of the mall, beat the hell out of him and then turn him over to management to see if they want to prosecute.”

     By this time, I got the offending words removed,  moved the ladder and cleared the area before the Simon’s arrived.  I did check the newspaper the next day to see if my accused criminal activity made the special section regarding the new mall opening.    Alas, it must not have been considered a significant enough event and received no coverage.  I dodged another bullet and was not accused of sabotaging my employer’s artwork or opening festivities.

     I returned to Texas, where I continued to fight the uphill, embarrassing lie that Irving Mall was THE place to shop in Dallas-Ft Worth.  Our tenant mix was not very compelling, but I made sure we had more weird stuff going on than competing malls.  No one else could match my Ms. Nursing Home Christmas Queen pageant in the mall, shortly before the holidays.  We coordinated the busing of retirement home residents from all over

the Metro-plex, complete with their own Santa, who parachuted in from a helicopter and entertained the residents!

     No other mall had the car on display in which Bonnie and Clyde were killed, or the Amazing Blue Creature in Ice!  Plus, I really made a statement with the All-American High Diving Aqua Mule that climbed a

100-foot ladder and dove into a pool!  You don’t see that kind of showmanship at other DFW malls, even if they did have Neiman-Marcus and Sanger-Harris!  I was simply ahead of time.  If I had it to do over, I would have “borrowed” the phrase from the city of Austin and had tee shirts and bumper stickers screaming, “Keep Irving Mall Weird”.

I even thought of a new jingle…

“We may not have the stores that you seek,

plus we’re in a location that’s pretty bleak.

Our neighbor-“hood” thugs should all be feared…

Yes, we’re Irving Mall and we stay weird!”

(BIG FINSH)…”THEY CALL HIM IRV!  IRVING MALL!”